"You are never too old to set another goal or dream another dream" -C.S Lewis

It's that time of year again where people start reflecting on the person they are and make plans to change into the person they want to be. I was never really one for New Year's Resolutions, but I am thinking about setting one or more and really making 2015 my year. 

Having dreams and goals is something I have really been struggling with lately. I am blessed in that so many of my lifelong dreams have come true in the past few years. I have been struggling to set new dreams and goals because it has been awhile since I have had to make new ones and for that I am thankful, but I have been a girl without a dream for quite sometime. 

This has got to change, so I am setting some long and short term goals for myself.

Goal One: Be fluent in Dutch. So much of my life here is in English and it is super easy to get by without learning Dutch, but I feel like I am missing out in so much as well. I live here, I love it here, I need to be fluent. 

How I'll get there: 

• Practice for at least an hour every day, be it duolingo or from one of the many books I have purchased.
• Have more Dutch nights at home. Once a week, speak nothing but Dutch and watch Dutch programs from the moment we wake up.
• Make an effort to have more one on one time with some of my Dutch friends so I can practice. Bake them lots of cake in return for their immense amount of patience.

Goal Two: Write a novel and have people read it. I've been saying I'm going to for years, and now that I finally have it mapped out in my head, I can put pen to paper or hands to keyboard. 

How I'll get there: 

• Set a goal to write every day. Add it into my daily schedule and hold myself accountable. I know that although I love staying up late and consider myself a night owl, I am actually most productive early in the morning from about 8am to 10am. First thing I am going to do when I get up in the morning is write. 
• Self-editing will happen, but maybe only once a week. Editing often gets in the way of the writing process and while I do love editing (other's people work) it can slow down the writing process. 
• Attend my writing group meetings, although this will have to wait until Feb. I love and miss my writing group and it is so great to have a community that encourages you.

Goal Three: Start my own business and become financially independent. I'm not ready to disclose the information yet, but this is something that I have always wanted to do and I feel like I am finally ready. 

How I'll get there:

• Have a clear plan. This includes a business plan, how to find investors, how to market it.
• Educate myself. I want to be an expert and in doing that I need to learn as much as I can.
• Register at the gemeente so I will be legal, I can't do this until I no longer am employed at my current company, but it is coming soon!

These are really my big 3. Of course, there are some smaller ones in there, like I am dreaming of Prague and Dubrovnik and I want to learn to sew.

Do you set new year's resolutions? Do you keep them? What are your goals for the new year? 

Dearest blog, 

I abandoned you for 6 months, believe me when I say it wasn't intentional. But, I can't make myself write when I am sad. You see, I have been struggling with depression since I was 14 and after 14 years of being manageable, it suddenly wasn't anymore. I was naive enough to think that even though I love living here, and live with my other half it wouldn't find me, I could escape its clutches, that my brain chemistry would somehow re-write itself and I could get better on my own. 

 For me, my depression manifests itself as sleeping all the time, reneging on my responsibilities, and being a complete slob and bum who won't do anything to help herself. Loek is incredibly patient, and I do not envy him for having to live with me at my worse. May was the hardest, but when I thankfully decided it was time to admit that something was wrong.I went to the doctor and have been taking anti-depressants since, and I am finally starting to feel like myself again. It's still a struggle, but one that I feel like I am finally getting on top of again. I want to get back to you dear blog, I miss writing, I miss my readers, and I miss the interactions and friendships that came from this space. While I can't promise I won't abandon you again, it is my intention to continue to take care of myself and to do the things that make me happy.

You guys, let's just agree not to talk about my 2 month unplanned hiatus? Captie? That's the plural of capisce. There I taught you something. Speaking of Italian, one of the 3,000 things I need to update you on is my first time ever skiing. In the Italian Alps. But I'll save that for its own post.

My how I have missed you loves! In order to ease myself back into this whole blogging thing, I have decided to start slow and link up with Melyssa from Nectar Collective for Weekly Wishes. I highly recommend it. My goal this week is really simple.

Write some damn blog posts. Seriously, I have two countries, some amazing discoveries in Amsterdam and Utrecht, a new haircut and a story about vomit, to update you on! 

For those of you who are still subscribing and/or reading, I owe you a huge THANK YOU!

So, how have you been?

Yesterday, was the worst day at work I have had in a really long time. A client I have been working on for DAYS is actually not eligible for our service which means that none of the work I did counts and there is no way I can catch up on my target for the month. And then I ugly cried. I have these really annoying ticks, where I laugh when I am scared or nervous and I cry when I am mad or frustrated. Kelly Cuthrone would be so ashamed of me. To top it all off, I then went on to make sales calls and was told by one man that I had a really sexy voice and that the business had been turned into a brothel. It hasn't of course, this was his way of getting rid of me. So very professional. 

Needless to say, I was in quite the mood yesterday. Which was the inspiration for this post. So, I present to you 11 ways to have a better day when life hands you sleazeballs.

1. Hug your cat or dog, or borrow one to hug. Lulu does a lot to improve my mood, she is so pretty and has been really loving lately. Spend some time with an animal and be instantly cheered up.
2. Plan your future. If your job has got you down, start thinking of an escape plan. Do you want to travel the world, start your own business, or go back to school? Start planning now and remember that your situation can be temporary. 
3. Learn a new skill. Take a few minutes and completely focus on learning a new thing. Anything will do. 
4. Go for a walk. Just escape the situation and unplug for a bit in the fresh air. 
5. Talk it out. Sometimes you just need to vent you know. 
6. Clean. Just really work out your frustrations with a little elbow grease. 
7. Obliterate the offender in fiction. Turn your bad day into inspiration for a story or blog post. 
8. Start a budget. I personally get a thrill seeing how much money I spend and how much money I could be saving. Plus keeping on top of your fiances will go a long way towards less stress in your life.
9. Move some money into savings. Even if it is just five dollars, you will feel better.
10. Watch this video of a side by side comparison of Kanye's Bound 2 you video (can we all agree this is the worst song ever made?) with Seth Rogan and James Franco's spoof. 

11. Tell yourself that tomorrow will be a better day and believe it. 

What do you do to get over a bad day?

I slept until 3pm today. Am I ashamed of this fact, not really as I have a wicked head cold with a migraine to match. Then I ordered my groceries to be delivered, because I am a woman on leisure, because I don't have a car and I am cooking for 11 on Saturday. Needless to say, not a very productive start to the week.

What I am proud of though is I completed all of my weekly wishes for last week. I think I have found my fig, or what I want to be when I grow up. But plans aren't finalized and there are some logistics to look into. I also finalized the menu for Thanksgiving and I found a place in Utrecht to order a turkey. Turns out, you need a poelier which is kind of like a wild game butcher. The turkey is to be picked up on Thursday morning for brining. I love that I can say missions accomplished.

This week, my plans are as follows:

1. Write and schedule some blog posts. I miss you guys! I just haven't found any inspiration.
2. Pull of this Thanksgiving. The verlo and I have never hosted a dinner party in our two years living together. I have never hosted one in the Netherlands. Somehow we are going to cram 11 people into our euro sized apartment. Luckily, I have pretty great friends who won't judge for the lack of a gravy boat or even proper chairs.
3. Take care of myself and my home. Of course there is still some company cleaning to be done, but I would like to get around to hanging some art before people come and I need to be healthy!

What are you going to do this week?