I abandoned you for 6 months, believe me when I say it wasn't intentional. But, I can't make myself write when I am sad. You see, I have been struggling with depression since I was 14 and after 14 years of being manageable, it suddenly wasn't anymore. I was naive enough to think that even though I love living here, and live with my other half it wouldn't find me, I could escape its clutches, that my brain chemistry would somehow re-write itself and I could get better on my own.
For me, my depression manifests itself as sleeping all the time, reneging on my responsibilities, and being a complete slob and bum who won't do anything to help herself. Loek is incredibly patient, and I do not envy him for having to live with me at my worse. May was the hardest, but when I thankfully decided it was time to admit that something was wrong.I went to the doctor and have been taking anti-depressants since, and I am finally starting to feel like myself again. It's still a struggle, but one that I feel like I am finally getting on top of again. I want to get back to you dear blog, I miss writing, I miss my readers, and I miss the interactions and friendships that came from this space. While I can't promise I won't abandon you again, it is my intention to continue to take care of myself and to do the things that make me happy.
Until next time,