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It's a New Dawn, It's a New Day

Dearest blog, 

I abandoned you for 6 months, believe me when I say it wasn't intentional. But, I can't make myself write when I am sad. You see, I have been struggling with depression since I was 14 and after 14 years of being manageable, it suddenly wasn't anymore. I was naive enough to think that even though I love living here, and live with my other half it wouldn't find me, I could escape its clutches, that my brain chemistry would somehow re-write itself and I could get better on my own. 

 For me, my depression manifests itself as sleeping all the time, reneging on my responsibilities, and being a complete slob and bum who won't do anything to help herself. Loek is incredibly patient, and I do not envy him for having to live with me at my worse. May was the hardest, but when I thankfully decided it was time to admit that something was wrong.I went to the doctor and have been taking anti-depressants since, and I am finally starting to feel like myself again. It's still a struggle, but one that I feel like I am finally getting on top of again. I want to get back to you dear blog, I miss writing, I miss my readers, and I miss the interactions and friendships that came from this space. While I can't promise I won't abandon you again, it is my intention to continue to take care of myself and to do the things that make me happy.

 

Until next time,

 

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Comments

Hi Kaitlin, 
I'm sorry to hear you've had a challenging few months- you are very brave to write this post and share your experiences. I suspect you'll find that once you tell people, you realise how many of us also deal with these type of issues. Personally I have lived with someone with depression, and I can get hit by random bouts of anxiety so I understand a bit about how debilitating it can be.
I hope you get back to writing, as it must bring you joy and I always smile when I get your blog into my inbox :) 
Let's hope the Netherlands gives us a pleasant Autumn which can help. Take care & be kind to yourself, 
xx

Welcome back and thank you for sharing such lovely, personal words. We're all here to support you and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your posts. I know it can be hard to see, but sometimes I find sharing my feelings with the blogging community to be incredibly cathartic and healing, and I hope you feel the same. Stay well, sweet friend!

I'm so glad you've decided to take care of yourself. I've suffered from depression as well and know how debilitating it can be. It is definitely a struggle at times. I've keep you in my thoughts! Glad to see you back here =)

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